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You Step Up To The Mic And...


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A sound related topic but I feel more suited for general chat.


Does anyone have any specific mic check material?

How often have you been asked 'could you just say a few words into the mic for me please?' to find yourself then busy with mics for the next 30 minutes. Start off with the ol' ONE TWO and very soon you are bored but you have to keep on going.


Sometimes the most talkative tech will dry up when put in front of a mic for a sound check.


I don't have any specific material myself but sometimes hear something and think 'ah that sounds good I should learn it off by heart for a mic check situation' then three seconds later I forget all about it.

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When getting any old person to test the mics, it's easiest for them to remember something factual rather than making something up.


I tend to start with 'what did you have for breakfast' followed by 'how did you get to work' etc. ad boredom!

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If it's a conference, then I tend to work my way through the powerpoint slides (without the client present!) interpreting them with a "you're all sacked" theme. For gigs we only line test until we get the instruments anyway.


Remember - if we could thing of original things to say over the mic every time, we'd be making much (less!) money doing stand-up...

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With me you get a better class of soundcheck as I recite Shakespeare. The only bit I can remember is Henry V Act III Scene I...


Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;

Or close the wall up with our English dead.

In peace there's nothing so becomes a man

As modest stillness and humility:...

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Or theres the classic


"I'm talking into the microphone and I hope that you can hear me, because otherwise I'm going to look like a fool standing here.... oh god I already do?!..."


Or is it just me who talks to myself?

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As a so called professional sound designer obviously I normally leave that kind of thing to someone lower down the food chain than myself <_< :unsure:

In reality I just get someone to read the paper, that being the only way that I ever get a chance to find out what is going on in the world.

On a side not before it gets time to open a mic channel and I want to check the response of the system I use a spoken word CD, current favourite being Richard Wilson reads "The Adventures of Dougal And The Magic Roundabout"... Pure Class :D :)

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I've been known to comment on article from the paper, tell a joke, repeatedly count to 2....


Mind you most of the times I get asked I can rangle out of it!





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If I'm trying to EQ monitors then it's just a whole bunch of random words at random pitches to test the responce, If I'm doing FOH for someone else then I have been known to start on Nickolas Nickleby,


There once lived, in a sequested part of the county of Devonshire, one mr Godfry Nickleby. Who rather late in life took it into his head to get married, and in due course when his wife had presented him with two sons he found himself in a situation of distinctly shortenerd means, which were only relieveed when one fine day, a black bordered letter arrived informing him that his uncle had died and left him the bulk of his fortune, ammounting in all to five thousand pounds.


Or somehing like that...


Oh and on the subject of asking the checkee questions rather than getting them to just say something, My flatmate was on a PSC video shoot for a charity and the had to interview Tony, at No 10, When they arived he miced him up and then went onto auto pilot


"Mr Blair, So How did you get heere ... uim this .. sorry "


"Mr Blair, so What did you have for break.. um sorry"


At which point the Prime Minister turned arround and said "My name is Tony Blair and I talk at this volume"

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From Motley Crue:


In the beginning

Good always overpowered the evils

Of all man's sins.......

But in time

The nations grew weak

And our cities fell to slums

While evil stood strong

In the dusts of hell

Lurked the blackest of hates

For he whom they feared

Awaited them.......

Now many many life times later

Lay destroyed beaten beaten down

Only corpses of rebels

Ashes of dreams

And blood stained streets.......

It has been written

"Those who have the youth

Have the future"

So come now children of the beast

Be strong

And Shout at the Devil


~~~~ Cue smoke & bright lights~~~~~


In reality...


Errr cough cough In the beginning

Good always overpowered #sniff# the evils

Of all man's sins.......

But in time umm...


One two, two two.

Any more?

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Guest lightnix

I usually read something out of the paper or Private Eye. If I'm feeling a little bolder I occasionally recite something by John Cooper Clark


On the music front: what ever happened to The Nightfly by Donald Fagan ? Time was when you couldn't step onto a conference fit-up without it playing somewhere. Something about it being one of the first digitally recorded albums, with a nice spread of frequencies...

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I have a list of favourites to help me avoid jokes about only being able to count to 2.


-To be or not to be

-The Raven by EA Poe

-Spoken version of 'The boxer' by Paul Simon

-Spoken version of any song from the show

-If its a long show, a re-written song from the show.

-Bill Clinton's denial speech about the lewinsky affair

-Anything that George W. ever said.

-Passages from Douglas Addams books




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"this is mic number one, this is mic number one, isnt this a lot of fun."


or I like to sing the current pop hits in the style of Jethro or some other folkie type, complete with finger/ear interaction. Tis good for a laugh from time to time



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Guest lightnix
Which US president was it who sound checked with the suggestion that today we might nuke the Ruskies...

Ronald Reagan

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