Room Sharing

[Tomo]

Are you a Sun reader by any chance?

No, but my wife and I have worked on cruise liners.

 

We both know people who have had *very* bad experiences with mixed sexes in cabins (both invited and uninvited).

 

Thankfully I don't think there were any actual rapes but there were definitely some very scared people, and several crewmembers who were fired on the spot.

The cruise line also gave everybody a few official scare stories from the point of view of a wrongly-accused male to try to prevent recurrences.

 

- One of the best cruise directors I know was fired due to allegations that couldn't be proved either way.

 

I honestly don't know whether anything actually happened, but it still completely ruined his career with that company.

[charlyfarly]

Bear in mind that hotel prices are much more reasonable than in rip-off Britain. I'm actually looking at a website which offers 3* and 4* hotels at between Euro 21-30 a night with breakfast....you can't get much better than that!

I still think the whole thing stinks:

 

1. The husband and wife team seem "nice". I don't know how old your friend is but in my book it sounds almost like "grooming".

2. The sharing room with husband issue came up after she was offered the job, with a rather terse take it or leave it and "other girls wouldn't have a problem with it, so you need to decide asap since it's part of the job"...erm, no actually they would have a problem with it if they had their head screwed on properly.

 

PLEASE don't take a RISK with accepting this job. Be assertive and say you really would like the job but that you prefer seperate sleeping arrangements.

[andy_s]

My opinion is that the Blueroom is the wrong place to be having this discussion.

 

The OP's friend should join a union and get this organisation blacklisted. If she's good enough and keen enough other jobs will come along.

 

To share a room with a colleague of whatever gender, whether for recreational or economic purposes, if it is the choice of the individuals concerned is I'm sure perfectly all right - consenting adults and all that.

 

To have this arrangement forced on you as part of the terms and conditions of employment is completely wrong. If it isn't illegal, then it should be. It's certainly unethical.

 

also, I see this is an intern position - so they are already "exploiting" her....

 

(I don't have any problem with internships where it is clear that the intern is getting as much out of it in terms of experience and training as the firm is in terms of unpaid labour. This example to my mind doesn't seem to match up to that criteria.)

[zonino]

I agree she should say no, if they do decide to fire her because of that I'd say she's got very very good grounds for unfair dismissal!

[mackerr]

I don't know whether the BR is the right place to discuss this but it should be discussed somewhere. I otherwise agree wholeheartedly with andy_s. Mixed gender rooming is the option of the individual, and should never be forced by management. I'd report the company to whatever authorities handle labor/management relations.

 

Mac

[Bryson]

Why is it "the wrong place" to have the discussion? In what way is it a problem?

[morepowerigor]

Why is it "the wrong place" to have the discussion? In what way is it a problem?

I wondered why it is wrong. Would be interested to hear from the OP again bas to what happened on the trip.

[tokm]

Just to clear things up.. the OP is posting on behalf of a female friend.

 

Swapped a few PM's with him as I had my suspicions as to who the record label was (not too many husband/wife combo record labels in Kent..) and wanted to warn him/his friend about other things to possibly expect based on previous experience's I've had.

 

I too hope we hear back.. just interesting to know how it all turned out.

 

Tom

[andy_s]

Why is it "the wrong place" to have the discussion? In what way is it a problem?

 

for the same reason as it is "wrong" to take any advice on 3 phase electricity from people who may or may not have the correct qualifications, meaning that advice, however well-meaning may be naive or just plain wrong.

 

Without wishing to be too disrespectful to our learned friends, there are many people posting here with little or no experience of industrial relations and employment law, and I'm certainly not setting myself up as an expert. However, I do have enough experience to know when to look for professional advice, for example from an appropriate Trade Union.

 

Perhaps however I was a little too single minded in the phrasing of my response - in the interests of making the point forcefully.

 

Of course it is far better to have this kind of unethical practice exposed and in the open, rather than swept under the carpet, and in this respect the discussion on the Blueroom performs a useful function.

 

It did concern me greatly that quite a few people seemed to think there was nothing wrong with this idea, and that is why the statement I made was perhaps more unequivocal than it might have been.

[Ike]

It did concern me greatly that quite a few people seemed to think there was nothing wrong with this idea,

Having a read back over the topic I still cant seem to find these quite a few people. There are a couple suggesting it would be OK if they knew each other and I suggested that it sounds plausible but was a bit unfair that she would automatically be expected to be OK with it, I also suggested offering to put money towards two singles if she was this uncomfortable.

 

also, I see this is an intern position - so they are already "exploiting" her....

How exactly? Assuming she is employed in the UK she will presumably be being paid at least the NMW. As she applied for an internship it's likely she has little or no prior experience and with all her expenses paid it doesn't seem like a bad deal to me.

[andy_s]

It did concern me greatly that quite a few people seemed to think there was nothing wrong with this idea,

Having a read back over the topic I still cant seem to find these quite a few people. There are a couple suggesting it would be OK if they knew each other and I suggested that it sounds plausible but was a bit unfair that she would automatically be expected to be OK with it, I also suggested offering to put money towards two singles if she was this uncomfortable.

 

also, I see this is an intern position - so they are already "exploiting" her....

How exactly? Assuming she is employed in the UK she will presumably be being paid at least the NMW. As she applied for an internship it's likely she has little or no prior experience and with all her expenses paid it doesn't seem like a bad deal to me.

 

In my experience internships in UK are unpaid. Maybe someone else has a different experience? The ones we have here are usually (but not exclusively) from the USA and it's arranged through a UK-based agency. We don't pay a wage, or expenses, unless we ask them to do something like go out prop-shopping, when we'll reimburse travel costs etc. If we need them to go out of town, we'd pay accommodation and certainly not ask them to share a room with a member of the opposite sex.

 

I agree that if people know each other then there is no real issue with sharing. I've shared accommodation with female colleagues myself on the odd occasion. The issue is personal choice - the employer seems to be offering no option. Or at least that is the impression I got from the OP, and people seemed to be suggesting that this was the norm, and to be put up with.. My apologies if I've misread this.

[collism]

Thanks for all the advice given here. It was interesting that just by my location people were able to guess which company was trying to pull this stunt! If nothing else the company is leaving itself open to all sorts of problems and demonstrates a complete lack of any professionalism.

 

Anyway, I think the young lady in question is still deciding whether to go ahead or not - will let you guys know as soon as I hear!

[zonino]

also, I see this is an intern position - so they are already "exploiting" her....

How exactly? Assuming she is employed in the UK she will presumably be being paid at least the NMW. As she applied for an internship it's likely she has little or no prior experience and with all her expenses paid it doesn't seem like a bad deal to me.

 

unforuntately far too often the NMW isn't being paid, although this practice is becoming less common, and quite right too!

 

In my experience internships in UK are unpaid. Maybe someone else has a different experience? The ones we have here are usually (but not exclusively) from the USA and it's arranged through a UK-based agency. We don't pay a wage, or expenses, unless we ask them to do something like go out prop-shopping, when we'll reimburse travel costs etc. If we need them to go out of town, we'd pay accommodation and certainly not ask them to share a room with a member of the opposite sex.

 

Minimum wage still applies. If you are doing work you should be being paid for it apart from in very specific cirumstances, work experience is not one of them!

[LXbydesign]

We always get our own rooms on tour and I think thats fair enough .People shoudnt be expected to have to share - unless its their choice to.

 

Also regardless of how well people know each other , I think its better for crew / staff on the road to have their own room anyway. We all need our space at the end of a long day.

 

So fair comments from all sides. I dont agree though that its "ok" only for a woman to share with ether a close friend or a gay man!! Its still sharing!!.

 

ok, so im gay (ohh - just come out in BR ha ha) but that dosent mean I would be happy to share with another gay guy or a lesbian , unless of course I knew them - and even then, only would if needs must.

[soundo26]

My company has a policy of booking individual rooms for all techs. It is certainly not ethical to book male & female strangers in shared accommodation, not entirely sure of the legality of that either!

 

When working in this industry, rigging/de-rigging, unsociable hours etc. anybody would require their own space to chill after work, it's bad enough sharing under a same sex situation without the complications arising from a mixed sex situation. You never know who you are with even with people you think you know. Just think of all the friends & relatives of convicted killers/rapists who always say he was always the type who would never hurt anybody/seemed like a nice guy etc etc!!

 

I once knew a guy, great bloke, good tech who turned out to be a paedophile, he was booked on a job with me and I offered him to stay at my house for the night before the job, I have three young kids!! glad things turned out the way they did and it never happened, I'd worked with him a lot and didn't have any idea.

 

I think this arrangement sounds very suspect and my two pennyworth is to say stay well clear, even if the guy's wife is in agreement, you never can tell, there have been several collusions of that ilk in the past too (just look up Ian Brady & Myra Hindley)!