My strange venue

[paulears]

Today a buyout show for a City Council who wanted a day at the seaside for the elderly people in their borough. They arranged the show, without of course, any input from anyone who understands shows, and we just did a hire. Got a tribute band in - the band and us all told 3pm kickoff. The organiser when I asked about timings said 2pm! Oh well - then she said to the band that they might have to do a 45 and a 60 to fit as there was a 4.30 cuotff for coaches. All thoroughly nice people. Band had a heart attack. Their contract said 1 x 45 mins, and they had a dep reading keyboard player, who had a 45 minute pad. They sit down to do some head scratching.

 

House opens at 1.30, one of the first people in gets to the top of the disabled access point - the fewest stairs or a ramp for wheelchairs - keels over and is unconscious. First aiders plentiful, and a doctor too and a couple of nurses. Neck injury suspected so one first aider lays on the floor holding his head, and it became clear we were not going up on time. In fact, by the time the ambulance arrived, we were forty minutes late, and the poor guy went on a scoop.

 

What a day! Not sure the old chap is ok, to be honest, but everything seems to happen at my place.

[ianknight]

I think it's called serendipity? <_<

 

If there hadn't been a dep on keyboards - probably nothing would have happened ;)

[sandall]

I had an old boy collapse in the middle of one of the 2012 pre-Olympic events, which left Mr Coe & 300 worthies twiddling their thumbs for about 40 minutes, while the paramedics did their stuff (he eventually walked out, none the worse for wear).

 

I've had a few "interesting" timings over the years (e.g. show billed at 7.00, venue booked 5.00 - 11.00, audience start rolling in from 8.30, band start rolling in from 9.00, everyone still expecting a 4-hour show), but the best (?) was a Burmese New Year (lots of amateur bands, & a bit of pretty lighting). The church hall was booked from 5.00 (they forgot to tell me that 5.00 was also billed as show-time). By the time I found the venue the only entrance was totally blocked by milling happy people. Once the door is unlocked the first job is to grab a couple of tables to put the desks on, before fighting through all the happy people to start getting the gear in. No sooner had I turned my back than my fought-for tables were lined with monks in orange robes, all sat-down & demanding their food (catering hadn't even arrived). Not speaking Burmese & not sure how to diplomatically phrase "get the f**** off my tables", ejecting them took a while, by which time the "organisers" were demanding to know why I wasn't set-up yet.

 

I managed to pacify them by getting a mic up & running within 5 mins of reclaiming my tables, & got the first band mic'd & lit by about 5.30 ("band" in this context means the 2 singers, 3 guitarists & keyboard player they tell you about, plus the 4 extra singers, 3 extra guitars, percussion & keyboard who one-by-one join them on stage during the set, all of course demanding a mic or DI).

 

Some were quite good; some were excruciatingly bad, but everyone had a good time, & the guys waving beer-bottles beside the desk usually didn't fall over till they were well into their 2nd one.

 

The get-out was of course a repeat of the get-in, i.e. music-finish & the caretaker turning off lights & locking doors both being scheduled for 11.00. They were such lovely people it was hard to get cross, & I did lots of other gigs for them over the years, but never again in a church hall.

[Brian]

More (I think) on this.

[paulears]

That's him - good to hear he's ok. Nice to see the bar manager getting involved.

[TomHoward]

This year, we had a gentleman collapse on stage during rehearsals for a vocal recital, one of about 100 piece choir. Following about 20 mins break waiting for the ambulance, and not wanting to move him, they carried on rehearsals with him lying on the floor in the middle of the choir stalls..

[w/robe]

We had someone collapse during press night for a show this spring. She felt odd, started to try to leave and collapsed in the aisle. After over half an hour of first aiders, paramedics and ambulance we had the last few minutes of the play.

We were told she was fine the next day and they think it was heat exhaustion but at the time it looked very serious.

[Seano]

20 years or more ago, I was opping sound on a ballet production of 'A Christmas Carol' touring through Canterbury. Just after beginners a gentleman on the front row had a heart attack and collapsed.

 

With the whole audience in their seats, the FoH staff did brilliantly and started CPR straight away. Paramedics arrived very quickly, came in at the double with a de-fib and made several attempts. Then, in front of everybody, they gave up. Meticulously packed up their gear, strolled back out to the ambulance, came back with a trolley and took the gentleman away - it couldn't have been more obvious to everyone that there was no hurry any more. After a quick discussion with the MD on cans, the stage manager decided Marley's funeral and my first sfx cue ("Marley was dead! Marley was dead! Marley was as dead as a door nail!") would be a bit much under the circumstances and we skipped the first scene of the show that night.

[paulears]

I had one die at one of the old folks shows a few years back. Somebody said one old lady was asleep already and we hadn't started. I had a quick peek, and her head was not in a sleeping pose - so I found a first aider and we headed to her, luckily in an aisle seat. There was a Doctor with the first aiders - I guess a retired chap, and he put a couple of fingers on her neck - checked a few other things and then told me life was extinct (funny phrase I remember thinking). Then he dropped the bombshell. As he had certified death, then the ambulance service don't take them, you are supposed to get the undertakers in with the black vans. The ambulance then arrived and they too explained that people never 'officially' die in an ambulance, they die at hospital when a doctor says they are dead!

 

However, being Norfolk, they had a great idea. They would pretend she was alive, pop her on a wheelchair type stretcher and take her. However, they told me I had to tell the lady in the seat next door her friend had passed away as they would be going to the mortuary, not A&E. I've seen all those TV programmes where the Police say how awful it is telling people somebody has died, so I steeled myself and sat in the empty seat and told the lady I was terribly sorry but the lady she came with had died. She said "Oh she will be disappointed, she was really looking forward to the show". Turns out that one other from their home died in the night, and when you're living with other old people, death is nothing to fear or worry about - they just deal with it. Bit of a learning curve that day.

[the kid]

We were doing some "demo" odd thing for the WI at college, still no idea what they were doing there but still. and we had an old lady pass out, We assumed boredom. But her friend thought she was just sleeping, then felt her and she was "very cold" and couldn't wake her.

 

999 etc etc turns out she just slept VERY deep and was normally VERY cold. But did take up the offer of a free ride to the hospital just in-case it was something more serious

[djw1981]

Confirm life extinct is how it used to be phrased on the old death certificates so it entered medical parlance despite the fact that most modern ones say 'confirm death.

[paulears]

At least my venue is not as disorganised as one I heard of today in the south west. The show we had told us how they arrived, and discovered the theatre full of a farmers market. When they cleared out, there were no crew, and no staff. Nobody to do anything. they did it all themselves and found somebody who could at the right time push one button for a full up, and that's how they did it!